Early in my career I needed to move an organization that had no interest in moving. I had no formal authority — just a digital product and the belief that it mattered.

My instinct: make the case. Present the data. Show the ROI. Repeat louder.

It didn’t work.

What I learned — slowly, expensively: influence without authority doesn’t start with your agenda. It starts with their problem. You have to understand what they’re protecting before you earn the right to talk about what you’re building.

The leader resisting digital wasn’t being difficult. He was protecting a wholesale relationship that paid his bonus. When I stopped trying to convince him and started trying to understand what he stood to lose — everything changed.

Influence isn’t persuasion. It’s alignment. You find where your interests genuinely overlap. You start there.

Twenty-five years later, it’s still the skill I use most.

Where are you pushing right now when you should be listening?